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THE PERFECT WOMAN
3-31-01
It turns out there IS a perfect woman. And like all the other good looking women out there, you can't have her.
While perusing Yahoo! News, I found an article about who has the best bodies. Jenifer Lopez won, and for good reason.
But that was just the best existing celebrity. They also said that the perfect woman would be an amalgamation of the hair of Jenifer Aniston, the face of Cathrine Zeta-Jones, the chest of Kelly Brooks, the belly of the bottom of Jenifer Lopez, Geri Halliwell's stomach, and finally Victoria Beckham, A.K.A. Posh Spice. Now I read this at about 1 am, so Iz got to thinking; what would this look like? Would she trully be hot? Or would she be an unholy creature of the night? I set out to find out.
First a little background. Jenifer Lopez, or J-Lo as she's called, is a female solo pop artist. Unlike Britney Spears or Christina Agulara, she actually has a small amount of talent and has survived longer than the regular 15 minutes. Jenifer Aniston plays Rachel on the hit show Friends.Cathrine Zeta-Jones was in the movie The Mask of Zoro and is married to a really old guy. Kelly Brooks is an underwear model with very large boobs. Geri Halliwell and Victoria Beckham were part of the Spice Girls. These celebrities are very good in their own unique way. Now let's see how they look combined.
Now keep in mind that I'm new to this hole picture-editing thing. This picture may look a little funky. Don't be suprised if you see abnormalities. Large white spaces are just my ineptness to correct mistakes.
Now, I may not be the best at Adobe Photoshop, but I did know a little. I went on the internet and weeded through countless porn and fan sites and found the best pictures, and came up with what she would look like. Women shield your eyes and men put your children to bed, here is the perfect woman:
Ack. I really do suck at Photoshop. This should teach you a lesson; even if your given the oppertunity to make the perfect woman with photoshop, don't, it'l look like the creature from the black lagoon. Very specifec moral today. Well, at least she dosen't look as bad as who was voted the ugliest woman: Calista Flockhart. Shudder.
-Muuphish